Housesitting.. the pitfalls

10th October 2012 by

My Client kindly met my train at Carlisle so giving us ample time to catch up and cover household instructions before their departure for France for their holiday.

They were looking forward to a rare opportunity of a holiday without their three teenagers, all of them at university now. their father told me that I was to expect the lads, Bill and Ben (names changed for obvious reasons) to arrive at some time over the weekend, this as they had been invited to the local Ball. I have met all of the Client’s children previously and found them to be respectful, friendly and welcoming. (Have you guessed where I am going yet and where this story will end up???).

Bill arrived on Friday afternoon and dissapeared to the pub with his friends. Ben joined him later in the evening. I went to bed to read around 10pm and slept til 11.30…Bill and Ben and friends returned from the pub and spent the next six hours in the snug, a room which is directly below my bedroom. They played xbox war games and went to bed as I got up to take the dogs out about 7am. I was aware of at least three unknown lads who had slept over in the snug and lounge.

I spent a good deal of Saturday either walking the dogs or staying out of everyones way. I then went out by myself on the afternoon, walking to a lovely cafe on the disused railway line above Haydon Bridge. On my return the dogs had gone having joined the lads down the pub and then for a run down by the river. Bill informed me, whilst laughing, that the dog had eaten a plastic bucket by the shore. He then said he would feed the dogs to which I told him that I would now take over and feed the dogs after a reasonable cool off period. I inspected Benji’s mouth -it was sore and had red wheels over his tongue.

Bill and Ben dressed for the Ball and departed the house by 7.30pm. I relaxed and went to bed early as I felt exhausted by the lack of sleep. But you’ve guessed it – I was to spend another sleepless night. This time the lads took full advantage off their absent parents and with little regard to the dogs well being and mine, invited a full house of ‘party-on’teenagers. I put in my earplugs and read in my room paying attention now and again to any outside goings on and also the neighbours’ comments from the side of house. No-one interrupted the party. I rang the house number around 2pm to request that the outside lights be switched off. This because my room was floodlit and also I thought it may disuade the party people from being in the garden and disturbing all and sundry. Inside the house the screaming and games carried on till around 5am. At one point the bathrooom, next to my room, was full of screaming and shouting as they mutually shaved each other!
Some time later when I was sure that the bathroom was empty I took the opportunity of having wee. The scene that greeted me was a bath matted with pubic and bodily hairs, drying underpants and socks draped over the radiators , and the floor awash with beer. Around 5am I decided to make a cuppa in the kitchen and was met with a typical after party scene. The tablecloth covered in beer and freezer food now defrosting. They had been smoking in the house.

During this time Ben, he having been told I was downstairs, attempted to apologise. It was obvious that he was neither sorry nor concerned with my well being. I told him that I would not accept a lager fueled apology and that I thought he was ‘an a***’. He looked very hurt at this and continued to apologise.

The house was not cleaned or vacated by its occupants until I replied to an email from my Clients that morning. They asked me if I had survived their sons!!! I gave them a succinct reply by text after which the house was ‘cleaned’. They then went back to the pub and I told them that i would not tolerate another sleepless night. Perhaps because they had exhausted themsleves, after a noisy return from the pub the house remained quiet until mid-day on Monday by which time they were both late for lectures at their respective Uni’s. I then recleaned the house while checking for damage. I also had to dump some of my food as it had been partly eaten.

Kid’s who’d have em!!! Gimme dogs any day !


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